I am sure, at one point or another, that everyone has played paper, rock, scissor (or rock, paper, scissor- however you choose to order it) but did you know that it can actually be beneficial to your marriage?
Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I are not the picture perfect “conflict resolvers” (yes, I invented that word) but we do know how to resolve things; petty things that we might bicker over senselessly. We do this with a contracted, easy solution- you guessed it: paper, rock, scissor.
It all started one night when we were up late watching t.v. That is our weird couple time. We sit up after the kids are in bed and watch trash reality t.v. (Don’t judge). So there we were, nestled in bed, awaiting the latest installment of brain-rotting entertainment and decided that a snack would be nice. We both chose our usual: cereal for me and an apple jelly sandwich for him.
He asked if I would fix his sandwich while I was downstairs, I wanted him to do it.
“Paper, rock, scissor?” he announced. I readied my hands and ended up winning the round.
From that day forward, whenever we have a discrepancy, one of us announces, “paper, rock, scissor” and settle it that way. I know that it seems very elementary and obviously all disagreements cannot be solved so simply, but there are some important principles at play.
- We aren’t wasting time on petty arguments. Whether it is taking out the trash, loading the dishwasher, letting the dog out (for the 14th time), or checking the doors before bed, there is no wasting time and bickering. You don’t whine and complain about how many times you have completed this particular task, why the other person should be doing it, or bring up how you assume a majority of responsibilities within the household. It solves the argument in 5 seconds flat.
- There are no hurt feelings. At times when in marriage when you are feeling a little less than cooperative with your significant other, you don’t have to worry or fuss about whose turn it is or why you shouldn’t be the one to do it this time.I think, often, couples (especially ones that have children) can get caught up in taking care of the day-to-day tasks. Sometimes those stresses permeate the relationship and we can have negative feelings toward our partner just because we deal with something stressful. Then (God forbid) they ask us to do something else at the end of the day: it can cause a person to lose it (or so I’ve I’ve heard). Having a quick match that is unbiased settles the disagreement and doesn’t leave room for blame, resentment, or hurt feelings.
- It is fun! My husband and I are very competitive. We can make anything into a friendly competition; it is one of the ways that we enjoy each other in our marriage. We compete over anything and everything: we will race to the bathroom after a long car ride, or guess who is calling before we look at the phone. We make bets with each other over daily events- it is what we do. So, playing paper, rock, scissor is a fun and competitive way to settle arguments. It appeals to our sense of competition, and of course the winning party never misses an opportunity to gloat about their victory. We are able to smile or jest about the unpleasant decision and go about our business as usual.
- It subconsciously communicates cooperation in our marriage. The fact that we are able to “trust the system” and go with whatever the “paper, rock, scissor” gods decide, shows that we trust in each other to follow a system that we have set forth to settle our differences. Either one of us, at any point, could say “this is stupid” or “I’m still not doing it” and walk away from the task at hand. Instead, we have honored a silly childhood game as a way to communicate to one another that we are willing to compromise and work together.
Is it necessary for you to settle arguments with paper, rock, scissor? Certainly not. But my husband and I have found that it communicates and fosters a cooperative attitude in our marriage. As a team and as a couple you sometimes have to think outside the box to find methods that work to keep the peace in your marriage.